Kyle is excited. He is always excited about the new adventures that life tosses us. I wish that I could be more like him sometimes. While he dreams of Luau's, weekends spent on the beach, and exploring local waterfalls and volcanoes (volcanoes erupt. hello!), I am saddened at the thought of being so far away from a great number of the people I love, worrying about finding gainful employment, and a little nauseous at the thought of putting all of our worldly belongings on a boat (boats sink. hello!).
It's not just that. I've been a drifter in my lifetime. I've lived in a number of states and used to pride myself on being able to pick up and leave on a whim (where is that when I need it!), but when I moved to Louisville, I knew it was time to hang up my travelling shoes. I love it here. I'm not sure if it is the ecclectic neighborhoods, fantastic local restaurants, the unbelievable color of green that the land turns in the Summer (it's like no other green I have ever seen before), or the friendly yet bustling atmosphere... whatever it is, I was sold from the moment I crossed the Kennedy Bridge. Sure there is crime, the Ohio River might just be the most disgusting thing I have ever stood near (no way my toe is going in that mess of a river!), and it can get so hot and humid that you just want to spend an entire day in the shower... but when I drive through some of the adorable neighborhoods on a green Kentucky day, I can see Kyle and I out in the yard with a couple of kids running around, tossing around a football or playing catch. I can see the future.
I think that is the problem I have with Hawaii right now. I can't see the future. I can't even begin to imagine it. That is a scary sentiment for a control freak! As you may have noticed, I am very self aware of all of my craziness. While the picture is not actually me, the resemblance is there. Crazy young gal. Anyway, I guess what I am really trying to say is that moving scares the molasses out of me. I can't control anything that is going to happen, I can't plan, I'm going to be far away, I have to leave a city I love, I won't have my own income right away.............. he's worth it though. I'd do a million scary things for him and if moving to a little island paradise and being completely out of my element is the worst of it, well I guess I am a pretty lucky gal.
